Bad Science by Linda Zimmermann

By Linda Zimmermann

2011 Silver Medal Winner for Humor, from the self sustaining Publisher's Awards. undesirable technological know-how: a quick heritage of surprising Misconceptions, absolutely unsuitable Conclusions, and quite silly Theories takes a funny examine bloodletting, alchemy, quack units, the worship of meteorites, faked info, mystery checking out on humans, and all types of actually ridiculous rules. From the traditional Greeks to the current, the background of technological know-how has been fraught with persecution, fraud, and lack of know-how on an important scale--but that doesn't suggest we can't snicker approximately it!

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Ask the kid with the 1987 Hyundai Galant how much tail he gets driving down the road, and then ask yourself whether money really makes a difference at this level. Basically, it's a whole different world now and what you have means something. Unfortunately, in high school, it's difficult to be upwardly or downwardly mobile so chances are good that you're stuck where you are. Luckily, this will change when you get older, but for now you're just going to have to deal with it. Here are some of the more general classifications that you might fall into: TO H A N D L I N G C H I C K S 23 WHO YOU ARE— WHAT YOU CAN IN DESCENDING EXPECT ORDER DOWN THE FOOD CHAIN C H I C K S YOU CAN GET HOW TO MOVE U P IN T H E WORLD Star athlete T h e world.

You should only say you're sorry when: a. You grab some chick's boob and she objects b. You're drunk and being obnoxious c. You've beaned your buddy in a Little League game d. Pigs fly out of your ass 8. If you see your high school best friend talking to your girlfriend, you should treat him like: a. Benito Mussolini b. Adolf Hitler c. Osama bin Laden d. All of the above 9. If you're rich in high school: a. It doesn't matter, because you can't buy a house b. You get a BMW and chicks c. You're not happy unless you're a good person, too d.

Sure, you've got the stoners and the occasional dabblers, but the vast majority of high school chicks will not do drugs. T h e drug scene is everywhere. College is practically a drug supermarket: shrooms, ecstasy, and all the real hard stuff is there for the taking. Pot is so commonplace it might be offered in the dorm cafeteria. Virtually all college girls will, at the minimum, experiment with drugs in college and, at the maximum, become strung-out, holloweyed prostitutes. Always be present during a chick's experimentation phase.

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